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It’s very simple. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your choices. When you make choices that are good for you, you feel good about yourself, do good things for yourself, and have many good experiences. When you make [...]]]> .

The Secret to Breaking Any Bad Habit or Addiction

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It’s very simple. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your choices. When you make choices that are good for you, you feel good about yourself, do good things for yourself, and have many good experiences. When you make choices that are bad for you, you feel bad about yourself, do bad things to yourself, and have many bad experiences. One road leads to pleasure, the other, pain…
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Have you ever wondered why people do things that are clearly harmful to their health? Perhaps it’s because they really don’t feel they have a choice.
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This is why the alcoholic reaches for booze, the junkie for drugs, the sex-addict for porn. It’s because deep in their hearts they have a subconscious need that must be satisfied, and the bottom line is, they haven’t learned to meet that need in a way that truly serves them. Since they can’t see any other way, they haven’t got a choice.
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The dictionary defines the word habit as “an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary.” An addiction meanwhile, can be defined as a habit you can’t break without feeling some adverse effects. At that point it becomes a matter of accurately assessing those effects, and then making your decision accordingly. In either case, there is one thing you must know before dealing with an alcohol addiction…
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There is always a choice.

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The Biggest Choice of All: Personal Responsibility.

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The good news is, you already have everything you need to get where you want to go. You have a mind that thinks, a body that feels, and a soul that knows the way. The challenge is getting them all to agree, especially when your mind keeps trying to control the show. But who is really in charge of your life? Is it you, or is it your mind? Are you the master of your thoughts and behavior? Or are you a slave to your own mental impulses?
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Consider your actions in life. Everything you do can be attributed to one of two things: Your need to avoid pain, or your desire to gain pleasure. Test this out for yourself. Think of anything you might do today, and see if it can’t be reduced to one of these primary motivations. Here’s a few examples:
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Read a book? Gain pleasure.
Pay a bill? Avoid pain.
Go for a walk? Gain pleasure.
Lie to your boss? Avoid pain.
Sleep in? Watch a movie? Answer the phone? Maybe a little of both.
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The point is, all your actions, even the actions you really don’t like, originate from either a positive or negative impulse. And every impulse is nothing more than a suggestion that your mind has served up for you to do with as you will. The problem is, being unaware of the essential relationship between yourself and your mind, you react to every thought as if it were a command.
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Consider your thoughts for a moment. You have both negative and positive thoughts to choose from. You have negative thoughts to protect you from danger, and you have positive thoughts to bring you delight. The best way to think of this is having a negative mind that wants to avoid pain, and a positive mind that wants to experience pleasure.
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But then you have a conflict. To your negative mind, all the potential pleasures in life involve some kind of risk, so it doesn’t want you to go there. And to your positive way of thinking, you can’t fully experience the pleasures in life while you keep holding yourself back, so you disregard the danger.
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Imagine an overweight woman standing in front of her refrigerator. On the outside she appears quite calm. But inside, there’s a battle raging over whether or not she’s going to reach in there and grab that slice of chocolate cake. Her positive mind is saying “MMMMM! YES! That cake is gonna taste YUMMY!” While her negative mind keeps saying “NO! Don’t do it! You’re already big as a whale!”
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Can you think of a similar example for yourself? A time when you were torn between two possible courses of action? In that situation, what was the pleasurable experience you wanted, and what was the pain or danger you perceived?
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Personal response ability means the ability to respond. It is the ability to see various points of view, decide what serves your purpose, and take effective action. It means having the confidence and maturity to figure things out for your self. This way, you can actually move forward instead of feeling stuck or trapped.
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The Challenge is…

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If you only have two options – pain or pleasure – then it’s not really a choice. It’s a dilemma. So that’s when you have to be clear. Sometimes it is good to think in negative terms, carefully considering the potential threats. Sometimes it is good to think in positive terms, focusing on the potential opportunities. And your third option is to simply stop and be neutral for a moment. To look at both sides equally and objectively before deciding what serves you best.
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The reason you struggle is because you have not yet learned how to effectively direct your mind. You are bouncing back and forth between extremes, with no stability in between. Because you have no neutral way to assess your situation, you can’t see all your options. Because you can’t see any options, you remain a victim of your fears and desires.
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But there is a path with your name on it. One that takes into consideration both the positive and negative points of view, and enables you to make decisions according to your vision, values and objectives. To find that path, there is one decision that must be made before any other decision will matter:

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Is your mind going to serve you? Or are you going to serve your mind?

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Either you are going to find a way to master your thoughts, or you will always be a victim of your own mental impulses. Either you are going to learn how to control your thoughts, or your thoughts will always be in control of you. There is no way to succeed without addressing this simple truth.

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You will then obtain joy in your mind
and throw away your pain.

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. I’m curious. Do you think the way a person feels, has anything to do with the way that person acts? For example, do people act different when they are happy, compared to when they are sad? . . Well how ’bout you? Do [...]]]> .

The Better I Feel About Myself, The Better I Do For Myself!

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I’m curious. Do you think the way a person feels, has anything to do with the way that person acts? For example, do people act different when they are happy, compared to when they are sad?
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Well how ’bout you? Do you act differently depending on how you feel? For example, when you are confident, do you act different than when you feel uncertain? Pretty obvious, right? And how about your results. Do you think your actions have anything to do with the quality of results you get? Interesting. So what we’re saying is… “If I can somehow find a way to control my feelings, then I will have more control over my actions, which will lead to better results.”
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Try this: Begin by making small daily improvements, and constantly acknowledge what you are doing well. This will make you feel good inside, which will lead to better actions and results. When you focus on the good you are doing, you build your confidence, you develop self-respect, and you constantly reinforce your own self-worth.
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As you start to feel better about yourself, you will start make better decisions, and you will experience far better things in your life. There’s more to it, of course, but this alone will yield far better results than beating yourself up every time you fail.
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